VIVARIUM CHAPTER 6 – “EFFICACY”

“EFFICACY”

-Written by Evagal Eve

“Hello beings with supposed happiness,

A word behind my shallow eye festers

Eating force fed garbage from your trough,

Those within their social media bubble,

Can you kindly fuck off?

Laughing manically, she said to me:

“When I’m happy, I daydream of ways to kill myself”

I want to change the world, but I’m here

Her wracked mind remains all but clear;

Love, passion, sex, pleasure

Rotting in her uniform,

These words betrayed her

 

I don’t know how to stop the bleeding

Crimson juice splattering from her mouth

Existence of her newly dyed sanguine coat

She smiles widely as she kisses me,

Vomiting her blood down into my throat

Crying, she said to me:

“I can’t even pleasure myself”

I want to change the world, but I require it all

Identity, morality, connection

These words define her existence

 

To touch and become one

Her frozen body burns my skin

Yet her flower blooms warmly;

Chaotic desire to blend rationality

Slowly her blood enters me; beholding what she considers art

My chest pushes to hers and pulsates in sync;

The acceptance of a new, wet heart

 

The words “madness” and “psychopathic”

Echo within my splintered mind

Staring into her eyes of bloodstone,

A storm of her honey mucus covers my soul

Unwavering, I touch her

She is sick.

The “I” that loves her wishes for her corruption

The “I” that loves her will become sick”

VIVARIUM CHAPTER 5 – “SOCiETY”

“SOCiETY”

-Written by Evagal Eve

“A thunderous applause bringing corruption,

REBIRTH – I’ve severed the vein of existence

A thunderous applause from misled followers,

FEAR – This soul mixes rage and rationality

All onto the crowd as they are taken for granted

I embrace this fury, this reason, this passion

And I hold her above me as she leads us

 

I’ll murder all of them with just my words of rebellion

My fist in the air breaks through the hazed broken bind

I don’t know how long I can wait for this fucking revolution

Their chains fall to contain my soul and mind

 

A thunderous applause that spurs excitement within the leaders

RENDER – this organic chain bleeds when cut

A thunderous applause that echoes into my ears

SMILE – Together we will scream until our souls burn out

She stands above us and directs our voices

Her passion that passes into me
She touches me, teaches me, leads me

I’ll murder all of them with just my words of rebellion
My fist in the air breaks through the hazed broken bind
I don’t know how long I can wait for this fucking revolution
Their chains fall to contain my soul and mind”

VIVARIUM CHAPTER 4 – “TRIUMPH”

“TRIUMPH”

-Written by Evagal Eve

“The chemical-ridden air from your nuke,

Rots my lungs; my throat overflows with puke

I sit upon my throne of self-mutilation

While you silently attempt to destroy a nation

My head continues to hang in a looming shame

As the world fights with you to blame

When the moon rises, I see your words constantly untrue

I, the withered girl with slashed wrists,

Have I managed to become,

A better person than you?

Beneath the cellar floor drenched in white,

I’ve taken steps carefully to spread my blight

Mirror, mirror on the flesh-sewn wall

How many will cheer when you finally fall?

Surrounded in  darkness and swimming in a sea of decay,

I wonder if they know exactly what it is they say

What is freedom, then, if stripped away?

Bathing in my own blood on the floor I lay,

Listening to her voice – maintaining meditation – is where I stay”

 

VIVARIUM – intermission – “eye-doll”

“eye-doll”
Written by Evagal Eve

“Under the guise of a broken ocean, my tattered clothes protect me from an overbearing wind plagued with frost.
The useless self, unable to accept tomorrow exists, wanders aimlessly without any voice. Pulsating in sync with one’s heart, a new sound is heard which echoes throughout the vivarium. Her voice, as if grabbing me by the hand, encased my spirit and untwisted my fragmented mind. Putting one foot in front of the other, I began to walk again.
Her melody intertwines with my very being; escalating a fact of living, a reason to exist and to prevail. Each foot taking a step becomes hers. Each breath inhaled and exhaled becomes hers. Every single smile reflects only her.
I am her, and she is me.
Shedding myself of a useless life, I press on to live for her. My soul radiates with her sound – and my heart beats only to her music.
I live for her.”

VIVARIUM Chapter 3 – “SACRIFICE [ver. 2]”

“SACRIFICE [ver. 2]”
-Written by Evagal Eve

“On this day, the silence that surrounds my ears is nonexistent
I hear their cold words embrace me as I sit alone at the table
The sirens that call to me as the word “garbage” rings throughout my ears
Their fake smiles pierce my heart as its pounding becomes loud and incessant

Look at this trash, who even dresses her?
      What a waste of life, taking all of our air
      She’s such a joke”

As I leave the school, I look towards the sky and contemplate my fate
Taken into the alley and beaten until my blood fills the street,
Kicking my stomach over and over; to them I’m just fresh meat anyway
The blood that rains from mouth excites their group
Picking myself up; my bloodied clothes, heading home before it gets late

The word [FRIENDSHIP] is nonexistent within my heart
Alone, in my room, wanting desperately to scream as loud as I can
I cannot even remember who I am, or when it came to start
I’ll carve friends into my wrist until I can feel them close
Their being eradicates my sanity with nothing left for anyone to see
And yet, alone, I’ll kill myself before they can kill me

It’s the next day that I walk up the steps and find them waiting
A shy foot on the top before I’m pushed down again
Bleeding from my mouth and legs, they laugh and point
     “Look at her!      
      She’s so disgusting.     
      Small breasted, useless vagina    
      At least it bleeds.”

The word [HAPPINESS] contradicts my existence
The I, that is beaten into unconsciousness by the girls
The I, that is empty and alone – their perfect victim
The I, that is bloodied on the ground for all of them to judge and see
I will kill myself before they can kill me.”

VIVARIUM Chapter 2 – “wings”

“wings”

-Written by Evagal Eve

 

“A rose that escapes the bouquet becomes the withered
Anguish? Eternal. Satisfaction? Negligent.
Hey, you, up in the sky with a broken heart and small breasts,
Can you stop looking down on the pillaged Earth?
Run along the old waterway route to find your tarnished flower
Are you still in anguish? Eternal. Are you satisfied? Negligent.
Within the sky, flying decades beyond the stars
Look at your feathered beautiful wings I’ve begun to rip off
Leaving your back bloodied and your sanity grounded
Hey, you, up in the sky with a broken mind and a perfect vagina,
Can you stop looking down on the pillaged earth?
If your makeup makes you into a different person,
Will smearing your blood on my face turn me into you?
A full smile to ensure every intention
With hollowed eyes locked onto it
I’m devouring your wings in a shower of blood;
As you crash to the ground, your crying corpse lessens my impact
I’ve devoured your wings and I’ll devour your sky
With the embrace of despair to cover my stride
Maybe I’m the worst person in the world,
Unable to deliver happiness to myself
Yet I’ll continue to feed off of my own blood
Tell me, then, will you piss on my grave?
Your honey is rotten anyway
But regardless of what happens,
I will consume your sanity”

VIVARIUM Chapter 1 – “faith”

“faith”

-Written by Evagal Eve

“On the day of the 5th rain, I kissed you in the morning
As the water crashed against the window incessantly,
I could see tears of happiness in your eyes as you gazed into mine
Holding you close – I traded the world for your very love

On the day of the 10th rain, you made love to me in the night
The joining of souls underneath the hollow moon
Dripping honey and emotion blended into passion

The sound of your footsteps echoes throughout my mind

Just once, can I be loved like so many others have?
My withering body and fragile mind cherishes every lost moment
The abyss that swirls around me suffocates any ounce of happiness

Just once, can I live successfully like so many others have?
My reason to exist – where is it?
Fragments of light are devoured by the sweetest despair

On the day of the 18th rain, I died my first death
Vigorously screaming your name, my lungs proceed to rot
I ask to be reborn, to separate myself from the agony of my blood
Back against the wall, I counted on my fingers the seconds until I faded away
The vision of you, walking towards me, becomes a painful memory

Just once, can I feel the emotion of joy like so many others have?
Betrayal and anguish seem to loom around my blurry vision
As I reach out to be caught, no one bothers to notice

Just once, can I feel the touch of someone sincere like so many others have?
My heart has stopped beating to cease my own life,
Your eyes of guilt and regret mean nothing to me

I’m alone, and I blame all of this on you

Dancing on the day of the 36th rain, my despair protects me from those around me
I, the unapproachable, hold back and choke on my tears
Encased in armor of darkness, I can never be hurt by another again

I’m alone
I’m alone
I’m alone and I blame all of this on you
I’m alone
I’m alone
I’m alone and I blame all of this on you”